you chose wrong

She’ll trust you every time. Every single time, she’ll let you walk into her life just as fast as you walked out. Every time, she’ll believe you when you say to just wait it out. Every time, she’ll believe you’re just not ready. Every time, she’ll think it’s something wrong with her, not you. Every time, she’ll get proven wrong. She’ll feel stupid for letting you in. But she’ll do it again. Every time, she’ll let you into her heart, just as fast as you’ve broken it time and time again.

She’ll hold your hand when you need someone. She’ll let you cry on her shoulder. She’ll be the one you call when you’re drunk and falling apart. She’ll listen about your ex, knowing she’s felt that same pain, caused by you. She’ll be your best friend. She’ll always be there. Even through the bullshit and the pain, she’ll always be there.

She’ll do anything to make you happy. Anything to make you see that she won’t leave. She’ll defend you to her friends or her family. She’ll fetch you another drink, drive you where you need to go, hold you when you’re lonely. She’ll be the one that’s there when you are drunk and “honest”. But she’ll be the one you forget the next morning. She’ll be the one you run away from when you see there’s something real. She’ll be the one…

She’s always going to be the one you run back to, but not the one you choose.

But she’ll always choose you.

You’ll be the only one who makes her feel comfortable. Every other guy will be in it for the wrong reasons. No one will compare to you. She’ll never trust them, the way she trusts you. You were the one who was there, then one day you weren’t. You were the one who she could cry on. You were the one who she’d do anything for. You were her only choice.

She’ll try to give up, so many times. But you know her better than anyone. You know how to make her stay. Make her come back to you. It doesn’t take much to do that, when you’re the man she loves. You know this too, the fact that she loves you. She’s told you so many times. She’s showed you. You use that, to make her stay. To manipulate her.

She’ll keep coming back, she’ll stay, she’ll get hurt. Because having you in her life and not knowing what the hell your relationship is, is better than you leaving.

But you still left. You kept finding better people. You kept choosing others. She was never good enough. You chose beauty over brains. Hoes over wives. Temporary satisfaction over comfort and happiness. You chose wrong. The way she’s obviously been choosing wrong for years.

It may have taken her years to realize, to see. But she will see how closed off to the situation she’s been. How badly she has blurred the truth. How you never meant the words you said. The kisses, the late night Face-Time calls, the drunken secrets, the way you held her hand and it seemed to fit perfectly, the way you made her feel.. all lies. The sad part is, they may have not been lies in the moment, but afterwards, you didn’t feel that same way. A minute or a day would pass, and you’d regret what you said. You’d run scared. Push her back into the safe place of “friends”. But you were never friends. You were always “Almost Something”.

The memories, the pain, it’s all still there. But you aren’t. And she is moving forward. She is moving on. She is taking what you did, and learning how not to be treated. Granted, she may make the mistake a couple more times, but thankfully, she’s young. And once she fully breaks free from your hold, you’ll miss her. You’ll want what you always had, but no longer have. You won’t have her forever, because no matter how badly she tried to prove that she wouldn’t leave, she had to. You were so scared that she’d leave, that instead, you kept leaving her. That was how you made sure she didn’t go, you did it. You left her and made her feel worthless, disposable.

One day, sooner or later, she will see her worth. She’ll see what you never saw, never will see. Or maybe you will see it, but it will be too late. You’ll learn not to choose wrong anymore, and deep down, she’ll always feel she chose right. She’ll always want what you never saw between you two. Always want you, and how amazing you could be…

 

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